IamProgrez Update 3: Zombie interns and a bored black hole

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WRAAAAGHHHHH

I am delighted to announce that posse of color obsessed hoodlums aka ‘The Designers’ have left the building. Calm has now thankfully returned after last week’s Warhol madness. It would be a scene of calm except for all the drool and moaning.

Yes the interns are still here.

Most have returned to the work unscathed after the ‘Research’ but a few sadly just mill around in the boardroom drooling and occasionally nibbling on our office plant Bert (don’t you name your plants?). They take instructions but nothing complicated. We tried asking for 3 cups of coffee and ended up covered in Nescafe.

I have discovered zombie interns are FANTASTIC at Pokémon Go.

They’re terrible of course at playing it (ever tried throwing a poke ball on a screen dripping with spit) but their one redeeming feature is their stamina. I point to a building far in the distance and say ‘Go there. Come back’ and they do. I now have the three of them walking kilometers every day hatching my eggs. (Not MY eggs. I don’t lay eggs and whoever started that rumor was lying! I mean Pokémon Go eggs)

In unrelated news there’s been an increase in missing cats and dogs in our area. I’d usually blame the designers but they aren’t here so I have zero idea what’s going on.

Linda’s been quiet. I mean ninja quiet. One minute she’s in the office, the next it’s a cloud of black smoke and the sound of her car racing off the lot. That can only mean 2 things: Secret meetings with finger signs and passwords and /or new projects. I tried asking her but recieved a new throwing star ear piercing.

The dangers I face to keep you, our readers, informed…

Following last week’s ‘Research’ with the interns Huib’s team isn’t satisfied with the ACCO profile measuring in the current R4WNB version. They’ve torn out all the gray matter out of the poor thing and are growing a hybrid code and hippo-campus system that looks very promising.

I say promising because it whispered to me. It told me of strange vistas far beyond the stars, where monstrous shapes rustle their wings and the universe cycles slowly but inexorably around a yawning black hole.

I  was tempted to ask what could make a black hole bored.

Then I remembered I had eggs (POKEMON GO EGGS NOT MINE) to hatch so I told her to go bother someone else. I caught a shoulder ride on the nearest zombie intern out of the office and back to reality.

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and FB to stay dialed in. I’ll see you next week unless the zombies, dark gods, ninja CEO and a bored black hole get me!

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